Glossary
Attachment styles
Patterns in how a person seeks and responds to closeness in relationships — usually grouped as secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized.
The four styles, plainly
Attachment style describes how you tend to reach for connection and how you react when it feels uncertain. Secure means you're comfortable with closeness and can ask for what you need. Anxious means you crave reassurance and worry about a partner pulling away. Avoidant means you value independence and can feel crowded by too much closeness. Disorganized blends the two — wanting connection and fearing it at once. These are patterns, not fixed labels: most people lean one way but shift with context, safety, and the specific partner.
Why couples care about it
Attachment styles explain a lot of everyday friction. One partner asking for more contact isn't 'needy' and one wanting space isn't 'cold' — they're often just two styles meeting. Naming the pattern turns a recurring fight into something you can actually work with: the anxious partner learns their reassurance requests are legitimate, the avoidant partner learns space can be offered without withdrawal. Understanding beats blame, and it makes room for agreements that fit both people instead of one person always bending.
Working with your patterns in Fervra
Attachment shows up in specifics — which moments left you reassured, which left you on edge, what a partner did that helped you settle. Fervra is a private journal where you can note those moments as they happen and look back for the real pattern instead of trusting memory in a tense conversation. Everything stays private by default, with per-item visibility, so you decide what a partner sees — and tracking what actually soothes each of you over time means you can repeat what works instead of guessing.
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