Glossary term

Desire discrepancy

Also known as libido mismatchmismatched sex drivesdesire difference

Desire discrepancy is when partners want intimacy at different frequencies or intensities — an extremely common, workable situation rather than a sign of a broken relationship.

The gist

Almost every couple experiences differences in desire at some point; it's one of the most common intimacy topics. The healthiest approach treats it as a shared puzzle rather than one person's fault: open conversation, curiosity about each other's patterns (spontaneous vs. responsive), and compromise usually go much further than pressure or avoidance.

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